Life is like a maze. We all walk day by day,
down the pathway trying to find our way with each of us bumping into the
other, debating and trying to manage our way with limited vision. We can't see the grand plan. We don't know the maze, its our first time
here! We start trying to "find" ourselves in the ways of the world,
asking what other participants think, leaning on their
knowledge; however, their vision is just as limited and blind as
is our own. It is like the blind leading the blind in the maze of life.
Human nature seems toward everyone
wanting to be different; we each want to be an
individual. We want to be remembered for "us" and not lumped in with a
statistic. Is that really wrong? Can
we fault each other for wanting that? We shouldn't! However, an even greater desire is
to belong. Each one of us wants to find that notch where only we can fill, that
space that has been waiting for us since our birth. Each of us want to
"arrive" and finally feel like, "Yes, this is who I am. It feels right. I am me!" But within it these two
compelling desires lurks a danger greater than any of us can
fathom. It's the danger of settling and the destructive power of pride.
At 16 years old I started going to the community college
nearby to take my concurrent enrollment classes. I loved it! Everyone thought I
was older than I was and I felt smart. I felt like those two greatest desires of individuality
and belonging were met. Things got even better when I met this cute,
20 years old guy who was interested in me. Then I really felt cool - me, a 16
years old, going out with a 20 year old?? As we got to know each other, it came to light that I was a member of the church.
He teased me about it. He called me a "Molly Mormon" and told me I
was so cute and innocent. I HATED it. I didn't want to be labeled! I was an
individual remember? I was so cool and mature, dating this 20 year old! Wrong.
I was so wrong. He started testing me and I started
"proving him wrong" therefore compromising my religion and my standards.
I became miserable. I didn't feel like myself anymore. I had
completely lost the Spirit. I felt like I was in a dark hole with all the sides
pushing in....like I was constantly suffocated with this lie I had decided was
the "true me". I no longer felt like my desires were met.
Instead, I felt like I had been betrayed. The world had let me down! I was so
much more lost than I had been to begin with. What went wrong?
Everyone knows the scripture Mosiah 3:19 : For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been
from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the
enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a
saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child,
submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all
things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth
submit to his Father.
Those who are followers of Jesus Christ are called
"Children of Christ". They are gathered into one singular group and are entitled to receive the same wonderful blessings of humility, patience, love,
etc. One could argue they aren't "individuals" but
instead they are just a bunch of brainwashed Mormons who are old-fashioned and naïve. That they don't fit in; they don't belong. I'm here to tell you that from the world's eyes, we don't
belong. But if we remember our TRUE origin, who we really are? We are perfectly
fine.
The promises that we receive in the Bible, the Book of
Mormon, and the other volumes of scripture are TIMELESS and ALL ENCOMPASSING.
24 The disciple is not above his Master, nor the servant
above his Lord.
25 It is enough for the disciple that he becomes as his Master, and the servant as his Lord....
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it.
25 It is enough for the disciple that he becomes as his Master, and the servant as his Lord....
39 He that findeth his life shall lose it: and he that loseth his life for My sake shall find it.
The Lord humbles us, reminds us that we need Him to do this
work and then explains why. Not for selfishness but because He truly wants us,
as His servants, to become like Him. It IS enough. What more can I ask for? The
sacrifice He asks of us to "lose" our lives is nothing compared to
the rewards that we receive. How is it He ALWAYS gives us more than we can
receive? He is ever-merciful and loving. He is our TRUE Savior!
Leaning on the people, instead of the Savior, as we navigate this maze of life
with us will only bring to the same blind conclusions over and over. But if we
lean on the One who has already finished the maze and waits for us
above, viewing the maze from beginning to end, we will finally understand and
be able to make it through. We will be confident and certain of ourselves, for we are His! We will be individual. We will be ourselves. Finally.
I know this is true. I have seen it for myself. I am finally
confident in who I am as a daughter of God because I trusted in my Savior, the
only One who has already finished the maze. Each one of us can too! All the Lord
asks is that we stop worrying about what the WORLD thinks, as blind and
confused as we are, and ask Him. Consult him. Find out who we really are. He
has promised us that we can find it. I know it is possible. Just try :)
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| Gabriella's recent baptism |
Hna Lake
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