Monday, March 2, 2015

Week #28 - My Best and Worst Week Yet!!

Hello Family!  

This week has been one where I've been trying to laugh more. It's been a harder week. I won't lie to you. We've taught almost no lessons, essentially knocked doors all day, everyday, and have only one progressing investigator. It's been raining all week and we've been on bikes. We were soaked completely for a day straight. But in a blessing I received it says that I will be a positive person with only a memory of the good times. I realized that if I remain positive and make things fun, ALL memories will be memories of good times! This has both been the worst and the BEST week of my mission. I have had almost no success this transfer....and yet, it's been my favorite.  

The hardest thing that happened this week actually happened about 4 hours ago. We finished cleaning up the apartment and I heard the phone ring. It was Victor! I love talking to that man. I answered the phone and ask how he is when he all the sudden launches into asking me if he had done something bad. I said "No" and then he launched into an fiery, pain-filled, distraught rant about how the church wasn't true, that we had lied to him and that we really didn't love him. All because we hadn't called him once that week. He ranted on and on. We tried so hard to console him, to heal whatever pain was digging it's claws further into his heart and all he said was that he didn't want us calling, visiting or talking to him anymore. This man....who I have called "mi tio" for about 3 months...who I built fences with, ate Cuban food with, laughed, cried and tried so hard to heal the hurt that plagued him......completely washed his hands of us and then hung up on us. What hurts the most? The one thing that could heal him and bring him peace....he just walked out on. I don't care that he hurt me and threw me on the ground. I don't care. I care that this man.....doesn't want the most precious gift that could change his life. A member, not even 2 weeks earlier, had told him of the peace that she could see in him. How he looked changed! AHH! It KILLS me. If this right now doesn't teach me that everything is in the Lord's hands, that I am insignificant and that I just work my hardest for the Lord's purposes....I don't know what will. 

I love Victor. I love him with all my heart and soul. I won't give up on him. This man had a dream that I came and visited him with my husband and my 1st born child, a little girl. I AM NOT going to let Satan destroy that dream. I felt spiritual confirmation that Victor was dreaming about the moment that I would come back for his baptism. If I have to wait for how ever long it takes....I will. One of our Sisters that lives with us had to drop an investigator that she loved so dearly. He smoked and drank like crazy... Well, he just got baptized last Sunday. It took a year, but this man got baptized. Victor will be just like this man. I have no doubts.  

I learned something really cool in the BoM this week. Ammon is talking all about how he wished that he were an angel and could teach the world, bringing them to repentance. He then chastises himself for wishing for more than the Lord had allotted them. I have caught myself many times wishing for more. Asking why I am the way I am. Judging my weaknesses on another's strengths. Well, Ammon gave me quite the news flash. God has given us our lives, experiences, talents etc. for a reason. If you aren't happy with what you've been given, YOU NEVER WILL BE. We chose, in part, who we would be in this life. Our job, it's to make the best of the raw materials we have been given so that when we are worthy enough to see who we were in the pre-mortal life...we won't be surprised.

Sheri Dew said:

“Is it possible to be happy when life is hard? To feel peace amid uncertainty and hope in the midst of cynicism? Is it possible to change, to shake off old habits and become new again? Is it possible to live with integrity and purity in a world that no longer values the virtues that distinguish the followers of Christ?
“Yes. The answer is yes because of Jesus Christ, whose Atonement ensures that we need not bear the burdens of mortality alone. …
“Through the years I, like you, have experienced pressures and disappointments that would have crushed me had I not been able to draw upon a source of wisdom and strength far greater than my own. He has never forgotten or forsaken me, and I have come to know for myself that Jesus is the Christ and that this is His Church. With Ammon I say, ‘[For] who can glory too much in the Lord? Yea, who can say too much of his great power, and of his mercy … ? Behold, … I cannot say the smallest part which I feel’ (Alma 26:16). I testify that in this, the twilight of the dispensation of the fullness of times, when Lucifer is working overtime to jeopardize our journey home and to separate us from the Savior’s atoning power, the only answer for any of us is Jesus Christ”
Right now, I'm trying my HARDEST to let the Atonement change me. Yeah, I'll be honest. It's hard. Life rips you up. But the Atonement has an unlimited supply of Band-Aids. :)

I Love you All! You are my favorite!
Hna Lake

No comments:

Post a Comment